Lastfm

Realise I'm probably months, if not years, behind with this one but lastfm is undoubtably the best website on the internet. So much so that I deleted my Facebook account as I know I will have no time for it from now on.

Takes a short while to get the hang of it but once you do it is so good. The wealth of music available is unbelievable and I would argue that it's better for hearing new bands than MySpace, providing you have some prior knowledge of the group.

I predict worldwide domination.

Or Fricasse Wad Mak Her Spew

Before your Dohertys, before your Browns, before your Morrisseys (cunt), even before your Lennons and McCartneys, there was Burns. Greatest wordsmith of them all.

Hae a fantastic Burn's night.


Address To Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hudies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut ye up wi' ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reeking, rich!

Then horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit!' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As fecless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Tho' bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit.

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whistle;
An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned
Like taps o' thrissle.

Ye pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware,
That jaups in luggies;
But if ye wish her gratfu' prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

The (8)08 State

2007 was a great year for music, and 2008 is set to sound even better. This is due to the wealth of artists who, having garnered underground success, are now ready to enter the mainstream consciousness:

Figure One: Lightspeed Champion

Dev Hynes' Lightspeed Champion is superb. Was totally taken aback when I first heard them last year as their songs are so far removed from those of Test Icicles, who I was never really a fan of. The album, Falling Off The Lavender Bridge, just came out, and so I'm yet to hear it. Judging by his singles though it should be amence.

Galaxy Of The Lost is sweeter than a builder's tea, that is until you listen to the lyrics.

'Guzzle down, My neck will burn as we kiss, and I'm sick in your mouth. I know you want more.'

Download:

Galaxy Of The Lost

Waiting Game

Figure Two: Late Of The Pier

The furore surrounding New Rave has died down, leaving a slew of talented bands in its wake. Late Of The Pier, from Castle Donington, sound altogether different from other bands who have been labelled New Rave. LOTP's influences lie in 1980's pop rather than the ubiquitous '90s dance or rave acts that are so readily cited as being influential by bands today. They released two singles last year Space And The Woods and Bathroom Gurgle, both were limited to 500 pressings. Space And The Woods sounds like the bastard lovechild of Gary Numan and Devo, ugly as sin, but with beautiful synths and pounding, mechanical drums. Bathroom Gurgle starts with a good beat and strong bassline, but with vocals that serve to lower one's expectations for the song, with singer Samuel Dust sounding strained and Americanised. This is remedied by the time the chorus kicks in, Dust singing the refrain 'find yourself a new boy.' From thereon in the song is an ecstatic stomper, with Dust ordering you to 'put your hands on your waistline, and move your body to the bassline, and get your hands on some cheap wine, and just move it 'til you feel fine'.

Future single, The Bears Are Coming, out February 28th, will see this band's inevitable rise quickened.

Download:

Space And The Woods

Bathroom Gurgle

Figure Three: Does It Offend You, Yeah?

One of the highlights of my 2007 was watching Does It Offend You, Yeah? playing the Carling Weekend: Leeds Festival. My only previous knowledge of them had been a cursory glance at their MySpace page, no doubt attracted by their name and its Nathan Barley connotations. Their live show blew me away, the energy of the band and the power of there songs. They've been compared to the likes of Justice and Daft Punk, and while this is a fair comparison to make, due to the electronic nature of the music, the rock sentiments of the band, particularly their live shows are more akin to a punk act. Their album, You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into, is out in March.

Download:

Let's Make Out

Figure Four: Santogold

The similarities between this Brooklyn based genre smashing lady and M.I.A. are many. Too many, some may say. The fact remains, however, that Santogold is releasing some fantatic songs and looks set to cross into the mainstream having featured in Rolling Stone's Top Ten Artists To Watch.

Having already worked with a spate of producers, including Miss Arulpragasam's ex, Diplo, the variety of her output is pretty much assured.

She's no M.I.A., but I love her.

Decide for yourselves, eh?

Download:

LES Artistes

Creator

You'll Find A Way (Switch & Sinden Remix)

Black Bic Biro

My first write-up is a shameless promotion of a band I have a lot of history with. Scotland's finest, Black Bic Biro. Hailing from the Shetland Islands this three piece, comprised of my childhood friends, are garnering a lot of interest from the press, both locally and nationally. Vic Galloway has been spinning their song, Peggy Sue, frequently and they recently appeared in the NME's Unsigned Bands section; the review was seemingly written by a spastic, however.

They recorded their eponymous E.P. toward the end of 2007 for the Shetland based BleatBeat Records. The launch of the record coincided with the band being offered the support slot for Franz Ferdinand, having been selected by the band themselves, against stiff competition. The gig was a riotous success, I threw a glowstick at the bass player, Ledaby Cricket, striking him in the face. Guffaws were had all round.

Four songs were recorded for their debut. The indie pop anthem; Peggy Sue, that draws on the influence of current British guitar bands, the sea-shanty-esque Timmy The Flea, the electric Ecto Joe, and Chamber Of Smoke, a delightful wee acoustic ditty, twinned with haunting lyrics. While Peggy Sue remains the fan favourite, due to it's singalong nature and soppy lyrics, the stand out track, in my opinion (which is all that matters), is Ecto Joe. Detailing the deranged antics of a friend of the band, and myself, who, on his thirteenth birthday, consumed a copious amount of ecstasy and had to be prised off a lamp post by paramedics. The track is the perfect compliment to the story, all chugging guitars, wailing screams, and disjointed lyrics.

If you visit their MySpace page (here), which is well worth a gander, you'll notice the track Palindrome Ho. A song not quite in keeping with the rest of their output, but still sits within their catalogue quite comfortably, nonetheless. A laid back summery tune provides a backing track for the hip-hop stylings of Loddwan, friend of the band and frequent collaborator. A scathing account of a bad break up, filled with vulgarities and insights a plenty;

'if she was so obsessed, and believed I was the best, then why has she oppressed, my blessed organ from my chest? I feel unimpressed. Vicious and callous, like a malicious phallus, raping a baby goat, and spraying it's demon semen, black worm sperm into it's throat.'

Black Bic Biro are currently in talks with SSB Solicitors and Statham Gill Davies, lawyers who have represented massive acts such as Oasis and Radiohead. A name change is also imminent, a move to prevent any future libel cases. Any suggestions for a new name are welcomed by the band, all of there's have been shit so far. Yes, even shitter than Black Bic Biro.

Black Bic Biro (left to right): Ledaby Cricket; Bass, John Gair; Drums, Reuben Quinn; Singing Guitarist

Post Haste

Ae fond kiss, and then we sever;

Ae fareweel, alas, for ever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.
Who shall say that Fortune grieves him,
While the star of hope she leaves him?
Me, nae cheerful twinkle lights me;
Dark despair around benights me.

Rabbie Burns

My First Post, the post that hurts the most. This blog will define right from wrong, because I will define right from wrong. Opinion is fact. Enjoy.